We have met the enemy and he is us.
~ Pogo
Getting Back on Track
Are you saboteur? I’m one and according to the experts you’re probably one too. We sabotage our goals in several subtle and not so subtle ways for a variety of reasons: fear, insecurity and comfort with the status quo.
I started 2012 with several goals. One was to get my weight down to 230 pounds. Towards the end of 2011, my weight was approaching numbers only applauded by bowlers. I found myself constantly turning around to see who was following me and finding no one there. After some initial weight loss success, I began rewarding myself by indulging in Boston Baked Beans.
I’m not talking about a New England vegetable dish. Boston Baked Beans are peanuts, disguised in a heavenly red candy coating. After finding myself in the candy aisle one too many times, judging whether chocolate peanut clusters or Wally Wallaby red licorice was the healthier choice it was time to hit “F5” and return to achieving my goal.
Three Tips Regarding Goals
- Read the words expressing your goals. Remember your goals need to be written down. If they’re not, don’t read another sentence until they are. Finished? Great. Look through your goals for any of these words: NO, NOT, NEVER, STOP, LOSE, REDUCE, LIMIT or QUIT. Using these or similar words have negative results. For example, if my goal is, “Stop eating candy,” I’m focusing my attention on the very thing I want to avoid – candy. It’s hard for most of us to go without something we want when its always on our mind. “Out of sight, out of mind and out of reach” is a more effective approach.
- Do your goals keep you from something you want or think you want? If yes, you are setting yourself up for feelings of deprivation, resentment and rebellion. Making something forbidden isn’t the best way to maintain control.
- Do your goals set you up for failure? Defining your goals in negative terms creates an all-or-nothing situation, where even one small slip means failure. Tell me if this sounds familiar, “Oh well, I’ve already blown it, I might as well enjoy it and start over tomorrow,” which turns into next week, next month or next year. Soon you feel like you can’t control your own behavior, but aren’t sure what to do about it.
The same way the words we use can work against us, they can also be used to help us. Defining our goals in positive terms makes reaching them that much easier.
Writing Goals With Positive Words
- Focus on what you really want, and on what is achievable and helpful. This creates positive energy and momentum instead of feelings of deprivation and resentment.
- Adjust your plans when you have the inevitable slip-up or bad day. Instead of giving up when you mess up, you can make small changes to balance things out.
- Check in with yourself before you act. Ask yourself if what you are about to do will help you reach your goals.
- Have true freedom of choice, rather than forcing yourself to rely on will power alone. We just aren’t designed to white-knuckle our way through life, always resisting what we think we really want.
Take Aways
Read through your written goals and make sure they’re positive. Ensure they focus on what you DO want and what you WILL accomplish. For example, instead of reducing my weight to 230 pounds, I would say I weigh 230 pounds, I love fruits and vegetables. A single day or event does not mean failure but the need for a course correction to get back on course to your goal. Please watch this 2+ minute video and learn three techniques to stay focused and motivated in achieving your dreams. Keep a pen and paper handy you’ll need it.
