Parent’s Words to their Children
“The word choices that parents make every day have an incredible power to enhance or harm the relationship with a child. Parents must make a conscious choice to use positive communication that will build mutual respect, cooperation, and self-esteem.”
~ Toni Schutta
In frustration, I’ve called my son “lazy” when he asked for help with a chore I felt he had the ability to complete on his own. I’ve called him a “clown” when I think his behavior is a little too silly. I’ve made a variety of offensive comments regarding what I feel is the excessive time he spends playing Modern Warfare 3.
To my son’s credit, he has let me know when I’ve crossed his boundaries but like when you’ve squeezed out too much toothpaste it’s darn right impossible to get it back in the tube. When I’ve said the wrong thing, I can never return things back to where they were before I said it. As a stepparent, saying the wrong thing to your stepchild can make bonding and trust even more difficult, if not impossible.
As stepparents of children from broken homes and/or in blended families, we must do everything possible to prevent bitterness from further damaging their children’s spirits. Stepdad’s – if you don’t have anything decent to say about your stepchildren’s dad then have nothing to say at all. Mothers must resist the temptation to speak unfavorably of their ex-spouse. Hearing hurtful language regarding their parents wounds the hearts of children.
King Solomon wrote the Proverb, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” As parents every day we are shaping the reality of our children by the words we use with them. We have a choice. How will our words shape our children? Click here for some stepfather quotes and wisdom. Here are three elements that should guide what we say to our children.
Elements of Speech to Our Children
- Build Up
- Our words need to build up our children.
- Speak to your child from a solid, positive standpoint – don’t label them.
- Even words that don’t have a negative meaning can have a negative impact on children.
- Remember the tone in your voice and facial expression also gives meaning to the words.
- Timely
- The right words at the wrong time can be just as damaging as the wrong words.
- Words left unsaid can also be harmful.
- As parents we need to know when to speak and if to speak.
- The right word spoken at the right time can make all the difference to our children.
- Empowering
- Our words need to positively, reinforce and motivate our children to achieve their full potential.
- If it’s not respectful and positive, ask yourself why you are saying it
As parents, we need to understand what’s going on within us. We may have had a rough day. We may be irritated. Check-in with yourself before you start to talk with your child. It will make it easier and a lot smoother. Be careful with your words and hold your tongue when necessary.
