Stepfather Humor ~ Things to Make You Go Hmmm

If convenience stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?  Take in these and 30 other things that make you go Hmmm.  Number 22 got my attention as long as I can remember I’ve always heard mother-in-law jokes.   If you know a good, clean father-in-law joke please leave it in the Comments.

1. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
2. Why is it no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
3. Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
4. Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
5. Why do we recite at a play and play at a recital?
6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
7. Would a part-time bandleader be considered a semi-conductor?
8. How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
9. Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?
10. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
12. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
13. If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip’s Screwdriver?
14. Is it true the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
15. In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
16. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
17. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
18. Why is it inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?
19. If diamonds are a girl’s best friend and a dog is man’s best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
20. Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren’t they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
21. Why is it men can react to broken bones as ‘just a sprain’ and deep wounds as ‘just a scratch,’ but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill ‘with the flu’ and have to be bedridden for weeks?
22. How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
23. Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
24. Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American  food?
25. Shouldn’t all married men forget their mistakes? After all there’s no sense in two people remembering the same things. Right?
26. Is the real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women?
27. If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife/girlfriend told you to?
28. When you choke a smurf what color do they turn?
29. Why is it good to be Daddy’s little girl, but bad to be a Momma’s boy?
30. Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Please add to this list by leaving your favorite thing(s) that makes you go Hmmm in the Comments.  Thanks. 😀