As a stepdad – your authority to parent is different from your stepchildren’s biological father. A bio dad’s parental authority is based on birth. On the other hand, a stepdad’s power rests on the relationship with his wife.
Joining a blended family and immediately adopting a role as a disciplinarian and attempting to hijack the part of your stepchildren’s biological dad is not likely to go well.
Early on in your relationship, discipline should be exercised exclusively by the biological parent.
Several blended family authorities state discipline should always remain the exclusive responsibility of the biological parent.
Easy to state but not always easy to carry out.
There will be times when you’ll need to dispense discipline. Situations, where your wife isn’t available, and discipline should be immediate.
For example, your wife is away from home, and you’re in charge. You’ll be required to exercise discipline in her absence.
Within the blended family, successful discipline works best after you paid your dues with your stepkids.
Your stepkids, won’t honor, accept or listen to you until you have gracefully earned their trust and respect. To obtain both will require time.
From your stepkid’s point of view, he or she only recognizes (one) man as their “real dad,” as a stepdad. You’re a surrogate until you prove otherwise. As a stepparent, you have the authority to discipline and correct your stepchildren’s behavior.
However, if you approach it incorrectly, you can expect negative aftermath, possibly harming the relationship you have with your stepchildren as well as your wife.
To effectively discipline your stepchildren, you should follow the following parenting tips:
- Establish a healthy relationship with your stepkids.
- Show your stepkids you respect and honor their relationship with their bio dad and also respect their father.
- Discipline in a manner consistent with their mom & biological father.
- To discipline differently will probably trigger resentment in the kids & they might rebel against you as a result.
- Be on the same page with your wife
- Praise more than criticize
- Avoid bribing the kids
- Avoid losing your temper
- Get first-hand advice from a stepdaughter on how to be a good stepdad.
Being a stepdad can be challenging, especially during the early months of your new role. However, there’re several ways new stepdads can manage their roles.
Manage your Stress Levels
One of the most important things you can do is master the art of being calm. Stress is unavoidable in a new blended family. However, how you manage your stress levels will help your new family adjust.
Stress can affect your mental and physical state and make you irritable. Ultimately, this will play a significant role in how you react to family disputes.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle and diet as well as exercise can lower your stress levels.
Form a Bond with Your Stepkids
Your relationship with your stepchildren may take time but do not relent. It’s normal for children to act out in a blended family unit.
Keep communication lines open, be friendly, and patient. Spend time together as a family, and eventually, a strong and long-lasting bond will form between you and your stepkids.
Spend Time with your Partner
It’s just as vital for you and your partner to spend time together as it is for you to parent your stepkids. So, make time for date nights or weekend getaway whenever possible.
Get useful tips on how to answer your stepkids if and when they respond with, “You’re not my Daddy.”
