The most important thing you can do in building a relationship with your partner’s adult child is to love and treat your partner well. Your genuine effort at this will grease the skids in forming a respectful and cordial relationship regardless of how often you’re in contact with your adult stepchild.
Furthermore, building your relationship is just like any other relationship. The following tips will help you create a relationship with your adult stepchild.
Gain their Trust
If you’re not living in the same household, your stepchild may have a harder time getting to know you. However, it’s important to build trust and follow through on the things you have committed to, such as family engagements or visitations.
Trust is a vital ingredient in any relationship. For a parent/child relationship, trust can quickly grow into respect and fondness, especially when your partner’s child sees you as a reliable person.
Genuine Interest
Nothing is more flattering than someone else being genuinely interested in your life. Showing genuine interest will make your partner’s child relax and more receptive to you.
Ask questions regarding their career, relationships, and challenges. You can also talk about hobbies and partake in activities you both enjoy.
Show sincere interest to your young adult by really listening. Look for areas where you have a common interest and be enthusiastic and encouraging.
Be Open to any Name they Decide to Call you
Again, it depends on the age of your partner’s child and their relationship with their bio parents as to how they’ll react to your presence in their daily lives. To start forming a relationship, you can discuss with your adult stepchild about how they want to refer to you.
Some stepkids will want to call you by your first name. Others might have no problem referring to you as Dad. Make sure you get their input and listen to their feelings.
Respect Boundaries
If your stepkid still lives with you and your spouse, it’s important to respect their personal space and boundaries. Although you may be eager to be a part of your stepchild’s life as quickly as possible, it is wise to give them some space as well.
Keep Communication Lines Open
Judiciously share with your partner’s young adult some of your thoughts, feelings, challenges, and weaknesses. Remember and be sensitive to the fundamental differences between males (just the facts) and females in communication (emotions and feelings).
Be Available
Maintain the relationship through periodic contact – don’t be a stranger. Also, be sensitive to whether the young adult is single or married, as this will influence your relationship.
Acting in a trustworthy manner, showing interest and being respectful are great ways to establish a relationship with your adult stepchild. Also, loving and caring for your partner will put you in the good books. So, don’t forget to treat your spouse lovingly and respectably manner as you try to bond with his or her child.
Get useful tips on how to answer your stepkids if and when they respond with, “You’re not my Daddy.”
