Your divorce isn’t only going to affect you and your partner. Your kids are used to having both parents around, and the change is bound to affect them immensely. For many stepdads, the biggest worry becomes how to keep your kids in your life after your divorce.
While the divorce may have separated you and your ex, you will always be your children’s parent. Make an effort to make your relationship with your kids stronger through this challenging phase. Here are some tips for keeping your kids in your life after your divorce.
Don’t Discuss Adult Problems with Your Kids
Your children are already going through a rough patch coming to terms with the fact their parents can no longer be together. It’s also important to remember the kids weren’t the cause of the divorce and, therefore, shouldn’t be included in the feuds.
Keeping your kids in your life after your divorce entails knowing the appropriate thing to say when they are within earshot. Kids don’t need to hear the arguments and chaos about your responsibilities and blame game.
Consider acting right while in their presence and excuse yourself when the need to discuss serious issues with your ex arise. Kids build their perspectives and learn a lot by example. Keep this in mind, so you don’t negatively impact your kids’ view of marriage and relationships in the future.
Keep Contact with Your Kids
As earlier mentioned, you will always remain a parent regardless of your marital status. To keep your kids in your life after your divorce, involve yourself in your children’s life. You can create conversations, visit them, take them out, and make random phone calls to them.
This allows them to have a close relationship with you. In this digital world, there is an endless list of ways to keep in contact with your children, including Skype to video chat with them.
Family law should also guide you through custody and the proper channels to contact your children. Chances are you will likely be sharing custody with your ex in some way, so time with your children will decrease a bit.
Make sure you don’t let that alter your relationship in any way and prioritize time spent with your children even more.
Don’t Speak Badly about Your Ex in Their Presence
We get it. You probably don’t feel warm towards your ex for reasons best known to you. You don’t want to bring bad blood between your kids and their other parent. Children equally get affected by the experiences you subject them to.
Remember to speak kindly about their parent if you have to or rather, avoid bringing your ex into your conversations with the children.
Your Home is Their Home
Now you have probably moved out and had a new house after the divorce. It will take some time before it feels like a home due to your children’s absence. Do everything in your power to make them feel at home in your new house.
Dedicate time to transform some rooms for them when they visit, decorate them, so they see your house as their second home. Consider scheduling regular visits for them to stay with you and spend quality time together like before.
Moving on with your life doesn’t necessarily mean cutting your kids out. Including love and understanding will be helpful in keeping your kids in your life after your divorce. It will also strengthen the relationship between you and your kids.
Here are some useful tips on dealing with divorce when kids are involved.
