Pink and red hearts, chocolates, and glittery cards — Valentine’s Day is coming up! Dedicated to love, this holiday can be as sweet as the candy in those heart-shaped boxes… but it can also come with difficulties. For blended families, especially newer ones, the Day can be riddled with strong emotions.
You may need to make grand, sweeping gestures – but that’s not what Valentine’s Day is all about. Love can be summed up well with the passages from 1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7 ESV –
Valentine’s Day can become a far more meaningful holiday when you take this thoughtful, personalized approach to love. It makes it easier to center your spouse and the love you share.
But sometimes, it can be tricky, awkward, or even challenging to figure out the right thing to do for Valentine’s Day. Today, let’s look at love and consider the best way to show our spouses love on Valentine’s Day!
Understanding Your Spouse’s Love Language
The first step in creating a Valentine’s Day to remember is understanding what makes your spouse feel appreciated. Understanding their love language can make choosing a Valentine’s Day gift or activity much more straightforward. The five love languages:
- Words of Affirmation,
- Quality Time,
- Receiving Gifts,
- Acts of Service, and
- Physical Touch
offer a framework for understanding how people express and receive love.
Identifying your spouse’s primary love language doesn’t have to be a mystery – it’s something you can ask about and talk about together. It can be fun to figure out each other’s love languages together if one or both of you haven’t ever thought about it before!
You should also pay attention to how they show love to others and note what they frequently request from you. This knowledge can transform Valentine’s Day into a meaningful occasion, not just a “Hallmark holiday.”
For example, if your spouse values words of affirmation, a sweet letter could speak volumes. Those who cherish quality time might appreciate an uninterrupted evening together, while someone who favors receiving gifts would love a thoughtful, personalized present.
If acts of service resonate most, consider tackling a chore or project that lightens their load. For physical touch, prioritize affectionate gestures like holding hands or a long back rub. Matching your gestures to their love language ensures the day is as unique for them as it is for you.
Thoughtful Ideas for Celebrating Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity to show your spouse how much you care – but it doesn’t have to break the bank. The most important aspect of Valentine’s Day is that whatever you do is sincere and meaningful. If you want ideas for celebrating Valentine’s Day, here are some classic celebrations you can easily personalize for a profoundly heartfelt celebration.
Romance starts at home, and if you and your partner like cozy evenings together, something as easy as preparing a special meal or dessert can be the perfect evening together. A cozy at-home date night, like a movie marathon, game night, or even a themed dinner, can be fun to do together. And gestures like writing a heartfelt letter or a list of reasons you love them can add to the romance.
The best Valentine’s gifts come from the heart. If you have DIY hobbies, like woodworking or something artistic, making a gift yourself is a great way to show how much you care. Personalized keepsakes, like engraved jewelry or custom art, go a long way.
Photo books or old-school albums are also beautiful gestures. We take more pictures now than ever before, and printing them out allows us to preserve those cherished memories tangibly. If your partner has a hobby or special interest, gifts that align with that are ideal.
Going out together is always a good plan if staying home doesn’t appeal. But for something special, go beyond the dinner date – take a class, try a new activity together, or even do a surprise trip or weekend getaway!
A staycation in your hometown can be enjoyable and give you a newfound appreciation for where you live. You could also revisit places meaningful in your relationship, like where you had your first date or the place you proposed.
Involving the Family (If Desired)
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that celebrates love — and there’s a lot of love to go around in a blended family! Planning activities everyone can enjoy, like baking, crafting, or a special meal together, can be a great way to foster family bonding. Just be sure to balance family time with couple-focused moments to ensure your spouse feels appreciated as an individual, not just as the kids’ other parent.
Overcoming Common Challenges for Valentine’s Victory
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day for love – but sometimes, it becomes strife. Fortunately, you can navigate around the pitfalls by being proactive! First, being on the same page about Valentine’s Day is essential.
It can be a very polarizing holiday — some people love it, while others prefer not to celebrate it. Find out where your spouse stands before the holiday, and make sure they know how you feel about it, too! Good communication is a great way to prevent problems before they arise.
Time management is also a meaningful way to stop trouble before it starts. We’ve all seen the scenario of the spouse who forgets it’s Valentine’s Day and has to run out and get the last bouquet at the store.
It’s not a great situation! Set reminders before the big day, and plan your Valentine’s Day. While surprises can be romantic, they can also interfere with busy schedules – so talk to your partner about your plans, even if you don’t tell them the exact nature of the plans.
Blended families must also consider the emotions and tensions arising on Valentine’s Day. For newer blended families, memories of past celebrations can bring up old hurts and tender memories. Children navigating these feelings might have difficulty grappling with divided allegiances between biological parents, while stepparents may feel uncertain about their role in such a sentimental holiday.
Even long-established blended families can find that Valentine’s Day stirs complex dynamics. Open communication, empathy, and a focus on creating inclusive traditions can help ensure the day celebrates love in all its forms rather than a source of division or discomfort.
Long-Term Benefits of Thoughtful Celebrations
So why is Valentine’s Day so important? It’s not really about the day itself or the presents involved. It’s about strengthening the emotional connection in your marriage and building a tradition of intentional love. Love is a choice, and when you put thought into what you do on Valentine’s Day, you’re showing your spouse how strong your love and appreciation are.
This level of thoughtfulness and care also models healthy relationships for your children. Research shows that children of Divorced parents have a more challenging time with the concept of marriage, even as adults. You can help them have a healthier, happier outlook by showing them what a thoughtful, loving marriage looks like.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Valentine’s Day offers the perfect opportunity to get creative and put thought into making the day meaningful for those you care about. Small, heartfelt gestures often leave the most profound impact. These moments remind us that showing love doesn’t involve grand displays or elaborate plans.
It’s the sincerity behind the effort that counts. Ultimately, Valentine’s Day is a special occasion, and the spirit of celebrating love can and should extend beyond just one day. By nurturing kindness, appreciation, and connection year-round, we can create lasting bonds that make every day feel more special.
Ultimately, there’s no one right way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. What’s important is that you and your partner choose to center each other and celebrate.
How do you and your family celebrate Valentine’s Day? Let us know in the comments – who knows, you might find your following best holiday plans here in our community! Check out the Support for Stepdads blog for more thoughts on becoming the best stepfather you can be.
