One of the most complicated transitions in parenthood is when you have to renegotiate your parent-child relationship into an adult-adult relationship. This stage can be difficult, but you made the transition into being a parent or stepparent already, so you can make this transition too. There are just some things you want to keep in mind.
What Infantilization is/Looks Like
The main thing you want to avoid when maintaining relationships with your adult children is infantilization. Let’s break down infantilization because while it is a simple term with a simple definition, it can take many forms.
The definition of infantilization is “to treat as if infantile.” When dealing with adults, the last thing we want to do is make them feel like babies – even if they are our kids. But avoiding infantilizing your adult children can be more complicated than you think, mainly because your children have very different opinions on what they perceive as infantilization.
Avoiding infantilizing your children can be challenging. I answered a Quora question about why some parents treat their adult children like small kids.
It was easier for them to continue treating like the young and still maturing 17 year old. But, if you read the other excellent answers, you’ll find infantilization can come from many different places. I encourage you to read some of that thread when you’re done here.
Avoiding Infantilization
I want to preface this section by saying you will be sorely disappointed if you’re looking for a cure-all to avoid mistakes in this transition period with your kids. You are unique; your kid is fantastic; your relationship is special; thus, your method to reaching a new stage of your relationship with them must also be unique.
The biggest thing to remember is you have to try. My parents didn’t always, and it showed in our relationship. If you’ve been a parent long enough to reach this transition, you probably know this already, but you must always try.
The only failure in parenting is to engage in your relationship with your kid and give it your all, whatever that looks like. Whatever you and your kid settle on for this new stage of life has to work for both of you, no matter how that looks.
For more advice on stepparenting and parenting, check out the rest of our blog.
