A Newsweek article reported people like dogs better than other people in a veiled indictment of our humanity or lack thereof. Perhaps dogs are God’s way of showing us how we should treat each other. Here are some facts you may not know about our furry friends.
Sense of Time. Dogs have a sense of time. They know the difference between one hour and five. If trained, they can predict future events, such as regular walk times. No wonder there are watchdogs.:-)
Two-Year-Old Smarts. Your dog is as smart as a two-year-old! Ever wonder why children around this age seem to have a special bond with the family dog? It could be because they speak the same language, roughly 250 words and gestures.
Benefits of Petting. Petting a dog can actually benefit your physical and mental health. Studies have shown that petting a dog for 15 minutes can lower blood pressure by 10%, help lower feelings of stress, depression, and combat loneliness.
Disease Detection. Dogs can be trained to detect cancer and other diseases in humans. Cancerous cells release different metabolic waste products than healthy cells in the human body. Dogs may even be able to sniff out cancer cells simply by smelling someone’s breath.
Bathroom Location. When your dog is carefully selecting the perfect place to do their business, it’s because they prefer to go #2 in alignment with the Earth’s magnetic field. I know there’s a joke here; I couldn’t think of one. If you do, please leave it in the Comments.
Enjoy these jokes about our furry friends. They’ll have you barking for more.
1. A woman walks into a psychoanalyst’s office and says, “Doctor, my husband thinks he’s a dog! I don’t know what to do! Please help.” The doctor replies, “Okay, have him get on the couch.” The woman quickly snapped back, “Wait, no, he’s not allowed on the couch!”
2. A woman called an airline customer service desk asking if she could fly with her dog on board. “Sure,” the airline agent said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” She continued to explain the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was perplexed, “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
3. A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution, “This guy looks edible. I’ve never seen his kind before.”
So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic, but as he’s about to run, he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea. He says loudly, “Mmm…that was some good lion meat!”
The lion abruptly stops and says, “Woah! This guy seems tougher than he looks. I better leave while I can.” Over by a treetop, a monkey witnessed everything.
Evidently, the monkey realizes he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened.
The lion says angrily, “Get on my back. We’ll get him together.” And they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened, starting to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts,
“Where the hell is that monkey! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago….”
4. A man walks into an animal hospital with his Bulldog and says, “My dog is cross-eyed. Can you fix it?”
The vet replies, “Let’s have a look at what’s wrong.” The vet picks the dog up while examining his eyes. After thoroughly inspecting the dog for a few minutes, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What?! You’re going to put him down because he’s cross-eyed?”
“No, because he is really, really heavy.”
5. Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing female Poodle. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she tells them, “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, “I love liver and cheese.” She replies, “Oh, how childish, that shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever, and he blurts, “Uhhh…I HATE liver and cheese.”
“I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s line,” said the Poodle.
She then turns to the last dog and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three was a little chihuahua. The chihuahua smiles at her, a wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab, and says, “Liver alone, cheese mine.”
Pets are affectionate, devoted, and forgiving – the very definition of unconditional love. Studies have also shown pets are good for our mental health! Learn more about the Paws-itively Amazing Benefits of Pets.
Oooooh God! I can’t resist having one of these lovely creatures :))
you can count on their friendship more than some so-called friends!!!
There no question Grece dogs make awesome companions. They are outstanding models of unconditional love. Thanks for sharing.
Gerardo