Over a fifth, (22 percent) of parents stayed in a relationship for longer than they wanted to for the sake of their children. Also, on the average, parents stayed together an additional five and a half years because of their kids when they would have otherwise split up.
Two fifths (41 percent) did not tell their partner they had planned to separate. New research from Direct Line Life Insurance reveals 7.6 million parents have stayed in a relationship for longer than they would have liked with their spouse or partner because they have children together. Read on to find out other shocking reasons why parents stay together.
Over a fifth, (22 percent) of parents that would have split up stayed together for longer because of their kids. On average, parents are staying in relationships for over half a decade longer (5 years 5 months), than they would have if it wasn’t for their children.
Also, there is a clear generational difference, with parents now over the age of 55 believing they stayed in a relationship for nearly seven years longer due to their kids, compared to just over three years for parents currently under the age of 35.
It shows how attitudes are changing towards break-ups and relationships where children are involved. Furthermore, over a third of parents who stayed together (36 percent) believed it was better for children to have two parents at home while growing up. Consequently, they stayed together rather than separating.
However, almost a quarter (23 percent) said it was because they thought the negative impact would be higher if they split up while their children were still young. Similarly, 23 percent said it was because they wanted to give the relationship a chance.
Again, 21 percent said they needed help raising their children, or they couldn’t afford to separate (20 percent).
Table one: Reasons why parents stayed in relationships
|
Reason |
Percentage Of Parents Who Said This Was Why They Stayed With Their Spouse/Partner |
| Thought it was better for children to have two parents living at home |
36% |
| Thought it would have a greater negative impact on children if they split up while children were young |
23% |
| Needed help raising children | 21% |
| Wanted to give the relationship a chance | 21% |
| Couldn’t afford to separate | 20% |
| Wanted to set a good relationship for my children | 17% |
| Didn’t want to admit the relationship hadn’t worked | 16% |
| Thought it was easier to be with someone rather than on my own |
12% |
| Having the children in the house distracted us from the issues in the relationship |
10% |
| Worried our children would be bullied at school if their parents had split up |
5% |
Source: Direct Line Life Insurance 2019
Interestingly, there is a division between men and women on their reasons for staying together. The
primary reason for men is due to their belief children should have two parents living at home (46 percent), while 31 percent of women cannot afford to separate from the other parent.
This highlights the financial challenges many families, and especially women, can face when splitting up as the previous combined household income then needs to stretch across two properties and often cover additional childcare costs too.
For some 4.5 million people (59 percent), the decision to stay together for their children was mutual,
while 3.1 million people (41 percent) kept their decision to themselves. Over a third (38 percent) said even their children knew, either because they were told (18 percent) or because they had guessed(20 percent).
Jane Morgan, Business Manager at Direct Line Life Insurance, commented: “It is interesting to see
how many parents would have broken up years earlier if they didn’t have children. So, now, you know some shocking reasons why parents stay together.
Parents consistently work hard to put the needs of their children above their own, also prioritizing their children’s happiness above everything.
There are a range of couples and marriage counseling options available to help people work through relationship difficulties and also work out how best to deal with the impact on their children if they do decide it is best to separate.
“Protecting their children is the first instinct of all parents and whether they are with their child’s other parent or not, will still want to ensure their children are safe and looked after. Life insurance could offer that added peace of mind that whatever happens, you can still help support your children.”
