Many of us associate the Lone Star State with cowboys, oil, barbeque, and football. However, here are some facts you may not know about Texas.
- Texas is larger than any European country.
- Texas is the only state to have the flags of six different nations fly over it. They are Spain, France, Mexico, Republic of Texas, Confederate States, and the United States.
- Texas has three of the most populated cities in the United States: Houston, Dallas, and San Antonio.
- The Texas State Capitol building is the largest state capitol in the nation.
Perhaps it’s true everything is bigger in Texas. Read on to see if their sense of humor is as well.
1. Why is Texas a lone star state? “Because it’s terrible.”
2. What do you call a drug ring in Austin? A huddle.
3. Why couldn’t the Longhorn football player get into a huddle on the football field? It’s a parole violation to associate with known felons.
4. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit? Will the defendant please rise?
5. The University of Texas Longhorns have adopted a new “Honor System.” “Yes, your Honor, No your Honor.”
6. What’s the real difference between a New York Zoo and a Texas Zoo? On the outside of the cage, the New York Zoo will have the name of the animal and then the scientific name in Latin. However, a Texas Zoo will have the name of the animal and the recipe!
Composition of the Standard Texan Diet (STD)
7. Why do ducks fly over Lubbock upside down? There’s nothing worth craping on!
8. What’s the only thing that grows in Dallas? The Crime Rate!
9. What are the only two seasons in Lubbock? Football and Construction.
10. Why didn’t the possum cross the road? Because in Lubbock he’s the other white meat!
11. What do people from Waco and a bottle of beer have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up.
12. How do kids from Houston spend the first week of the school year? Studying the Miranda Rights.
13. I was in the bar the other night and heard three very hefty women talking. Their accent sounded Scottish, so I walked over to them and said: “Hello, what brings you, ladies, to Texas from Scotland?” One of them angrily screamed, “It’s Wales, you bloody idiot, Wales!!” So I apologized and replied, “I’m sorry, what brings you whales to Texas from Scotland?” I woke up 15 minutes later in the ambulance.
14. Why does dyslexic politician polling so poorly? His first promise is to eliminate texas.
15. Did you hear about the Anthrax scare at the Dallas Cowboys practice facility? A white powder was found on the Dallas Cowboys practice field. The team offense had never seen anything like it. Upon further inspection, it turned out to be the goal line.
Why does New York have lots of garbage and Los Angeles has lots of lawyers? Click here to get the answer.
