Recently a stepdad, Charley, sent me the following.
Her mother and I have been together for a little over a year and my little one [stepdaughter] just celebrated her 6th birthday. She has one other girl (three years old) from her previous relationship, and we are expecting our first together here soon.
Recently my eldest has been getting increasingly frustrated with her biological fathers’ behavior towards her. He’s barely seen her in the past year and only recently started to FaceTime her, although those sessions often result in her moping sadly about her room afterward.
She’s been being extremely mopey and whiny about everything and then cries when she isn’t rewarded for her mean actions to us and her sister. The deadbeat in question is super egotistical and makes everyone do everything for him.
In the few short years he’s been around his daughter he’s done a good job of teaching her that if she wants something all she has to do is tell that person to do it. Which obviously doesn’t work, causing her to throw a fit when it doesn’t. How do I (without flipping out) explain to her the way she talks to people causes the way they respond to her.
My Advice to Charley
Regarding your daughter, I think it’s wise and commendable you haven’t given in to her negative behavior – continue to hold the line. I assumed both you and your partner are on the same page regarding your daughter’s behavior but if you’re not it’s important to make sure you are going forward.
As I read your story I’m reminded of the world’s most spoiled girl, Veruca Salt.
My thoughts are for you and your wife to sit down with your daughter to watch the movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – it’s very entertaining. Then watch the above snippet.
There are other clips of Veruca Salt displaying her badass behavior as well. Afterward, have a conversation with your daughter about Veruca and her behavior. Your goal is to get her to recognize her behavior and to see how it affects those around them.
Also, you may want to consider getting a competent counselor for your daughter to address the impact of her bio dad on her. I hope this helps.
Do you have any advice for Charley? Please share it in the Comments.
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