Ten New York City Jokes ~ Friday Humor

As a Nebraska native who has visited New York several times, I put New York City in the class of a nice place to visit but I definitely wouldn’t want to rent there. 🙂 

1. “New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time – most, unsolved.” ~ Johnny Carson
2. “Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.” ~ Johnny Carson
3. “The trouble with New York is that it’s so convenient to everything I can’t afford.” ~ Jack Barry
4. “I moved to New York City for my health. I’m paranoid, and it was the only place where my fears were justified.” ~ Anita Weiss
5. “Being miserable and treating everybody like dirt is every New Yorker’s God-given right.” ~ Ghostbusters II
6. “In other parts of the country, couples try to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York, they try to work things out for the sake of the apartment.” ~ David Sedaris
7. “New York now leads the world’s great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn’t make a sudden move.” ~ David Letterman
8. “I went to Coney Island recently. I rode this roller coaster called the Cyclone. The single most terrifying experience of my life. And I’m from _ucking Pakistan. I had like bruises everywhere. It’s like I paid a guy. Like, ‘Here’s a bunch of money … just kind of punch me all over.’ And then, when I got off, I found out that the Cyclone is the oldest functional roller-coaster in the world. I wish I’d known that before I risked my life. Do you know what year the Cyclone was made in? The Cyclone was made in the year 1927. They should change the name of that ride to 1927. ’Cause that fact is way scarier than cyclones. Or hurricanes.” ~ Kumail Nanjiani
9. “If you live in New York, even if you’re Catholic, you’re Jewish.” ~ Lenny Bruce
10. “There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else on the globe.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.