Even More Puns ~ Friday Humor

Just when I think I’ve found them all, I discover a fresh supply. Back by popular demand, even more, puns…

1. What do you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller!
2. What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? “Hey, close the door! I’m dressing!”
3. Time flies like an arrow… Fruit flies like a banana!
4. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
5. Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they’re having trouble installing Windows!
6. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
7. I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log!
8. I have a few jokes about unemployed people… But none of them work!
9. Every soccer player’s favorite beverage? Penal-tea!
10. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up!
11. Why do eggs hate jokes? The answer cracks them up!
12. I used to wonder why Frisbees looked bigger the closer they came… And then it hit me!
13. Two egotists started a fight. It was an I for an I!
14. I’m glad I know sign language. It can come in pretty handy!
15. Looks tasty. Gimme a pizza that.
16. Cactus puns are simply succulent.
17. I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning… But I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow!
18. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his front door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
19. Unfortunately, my dad passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
20. Did you hear about the guy who had his left leg and left arm amputated after a car crash? He’s all right now!
21. I became a vegetarian. Huge missed-steak!
22. What should you call an average potato? A commen-tator!
23. I bought some shoes in the drug black market…I don’t know what they’re laced with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
24. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink!
25. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
26. Why did the grizzly hate this article? He can’t bear puns!

Would you like some more? Click here to get 26 hand-selected puns.

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.