When boys are young, they tend to idolize their fathers. They’re at that heartwarming stage where they want nothing more than to be like dear old dad.
As much as it may melt your heart to see your son wearing your work shoes and eating the same cereal as you, it’s also a good reminder he’s paying close attention to your habits. Whether these habits are good or bad is for you to decide.
From the way you drive your car to how you to treat his mother, your son is picking up far more than you probably realize. Here are just a few habits that a son learns from his father:
1. How to Treat Women
As a father, it goes without saying you want to raise your sons to treat women with dignity and respect. The best way to do this is by loving his mother and showing him what a loving relationship looks like.
This is possibly the easiest habits a boy picks up from his dad. How you treat his mom will shape how he views and treats women later in life. If you’re divorced from his mom, make sure you talk civilly about her (even when you feel anything but civil) and always treat the women in your life with respect.
2. Your Work-Life Balance
If you struggle to achieve an excellent work-life balance, you’re far from the only dad with this problem. According to Pew Research, roughly half of working dads have said they find it “very or somewhat difficult” to balance work and family.
While working hard can help instill a good work ethic in your son, it can also teach them family comes second to work. Though there are many professionals who rationalize this by saying they choose work to support their family, it’s still a choice that can have long-lasting consequences.
If you had a dad who always worked late and missed countless events in your life, then you know exactly the toll it can take on a kid. When the workday is done, remember to leave work at your office and to be fully present with your son.
3. The Importance of Self-Care
You want your son to take good care of his body and mind, right? If so, make sure you don’t neglect your own self-care.
Simple things like taking good care of your skin and exercising regularly can have a huge impact on your son. If you don’t care about your mental or physical health, your son will grow up believing these things aren’t important.
Since you’re a busy dad, find ways to take the hassle out of self-care. For instance, consider getting a skincare subscription that will send you the basic skincare items you need directly to your door each month.
Can’t find the time to exercise? Skip the long, gym workout and sneak in 15-minute routines whenever you can.
No matter what you do, try to do them when your son is watching. He’ll absorb these acts of self-care and learn they’re necessary for his health and well-being.
4. Your Drinking Habits
Do you tend to hit the bottle when you’re feeling stressed? Unfortunately, your son can be greatly influenced by your heavy drinking.
According to a study published in Public Health Reports, children of parents who drank heavily were more likely to abuse alcohol and other substances later in life. They were also at a higher risk of depression, personality disorders, criminality, and behavioral problems.
Of course, the study also found parents who drank heavily may produce children who completely abstain from drinking. But is that really a chance you want to take?
5. How You Handle Your Emotions
Do you tend to bottle up your emotions until you’re ready to explode? This bad habit is something many of us learned from our fathers.
Our dads were raised with the idea men who showed their emotions were weak and unmanly. Though we are the product of that ideology, our sons don’t need to be.
Start by encouraging your son to talk about his emotions and share whatever it is he’s feeling. You can also teach him healthy coping mechanisms such as exercise, listening to music, or practicing deep breathing techniques.
6. How to Treat Service Workers
The interactions you have with your waitress, the grocery clerk, and other service workers can leave a lasting impression on your son. If you treat them rudely, your son will pick up on this and will mimic the behavior.
Treating service workers with kindness is basic human decency. It could also play a role in your son’s career and future relationships.
Many CEOs judge job candidates by how they interact with their assistants or with waitstaff during a lunch interview. Some people will flat-out refuse to date those who treat service workers poorly (as they should).
If you want to raise your son right, teach him the importance of treating service workers with respect. Not only is it the right thing to do, but it could also influence his future.
7. Your Outlook on Life
As a little kid, your son’s world view is incredibly small. He’ll look to you for guidance on how he should perceive the world.
If you’re looking at the world through a pessimistic lens, he’s going to see it the same way. This negative view can hold him back in life and take a huge toll on his mental well-being.
According to a 2011 study published in Pediatrics, optimist thinking can help protect teenagers against emotional health problems, including depression, anxiety, and antisocial behavior.
You don’t need to be brimming with positive thoughts all the time. Just do your best to look on the bright side when your son is watching.
Setting a Good Example for Your Son
Your son’s brain is like a sponge, soaking up everything you do and say. Are your habits worth mimicking?
As a father, you’re in a unique position to influence your son and help him form good habits that will benefit him going into adulthood. It’s practically cliché: “Live your best life.” You find it in social media posts and magazine covers. Yet, it’s the most effective way to get your kids to live their best life.
By being conscious of your own choices, you can work on kicking bad habits that may negatively influence your son while encouraging habits that will bring him lifelong benefits.
