Family

Seven Effective Ways To Mentor Your Son

As a father, you want nothing more than for your son to be happy, healthy and successful. Mentoring him is arguably one of the best ways to make that wish a reality.


Mentoring is similar to parenting, only there is much less instructing going on and far more modeling involved. You’re essentially guiding your son to make good choices that will bring a lifetime of benefits for him rather than forcing him to make the right decision.

You don’t need any special certification to mentor your own son. In fact, you can start right now with these seven effective ways to mentor your son.

1. Introduce Him to Your Favorite Sport

Introducing your son to one of your favorite sports has two benefits. First, it’s a healthy activity that gets both of you moving.

Second, it’s the perfect way to grow closer with your son and be a good mentor simultaneously. If he tries a difficult move for the first time and fails at it, praise him anyway and reward him for not being afraid to fail.

It’s also a good opportunity to show him your own strengths and weaknesses. If you’re really good at defense and terrible on offense, be frank about it. He’ll appreciate your openness and be more likely to return the favor.

2. Teach Him How to Cook a Healthy Meal

Whether your son is seven or 17, he’s never too old to get in the kitchen. Cooking a healthy meal with your son is a unique bonding activity that doubles as an important life skill.

Best of all, it can start helping your son reach his true potential while he’s still in school. According to a 2017 study published in BioMed, healthy eating in kids is linked to higher self-esteem and fewer social problems, regardless of body weight.

Set aside a specific day of the week to cook a nutritious meal with your son. When he graduates high school, he’ll be leagues ahead of other guys who are consisting of unhealthy takeout and Top Ramen.

3. Get Him Started on a Simple Skin Care Routine

As a mentor, it’s your job to build up your son’s confidence. Getting him on a regular skincare routine is a great place to start.

Once your son reaches his teenage years, he’ll likely need some help controlling his oily skin. According to a 2011 study published in Dermatology Online Journal, acne affects more than 85 percent of teens and can have a deeply negative impact on their quality of life. 

If you sense he’s struggling with acne, consider getting him an acne treatment system to help get his breakouts under control. Then, leave him to his own devices. If you nag him about it, he’ll be less likely to use it.

4. Don’t Pass Judgment

When your son voices an opinion that is flat-out wrong or politically incorrect, your first inclination as a parent may be to shut it down. But as a mentor, you may need to rethink your approach.

It’s important for a son’s father to accept his opinions without being too judgmental. If you react harshly to his thoughts, he’ll never share them with you again.

Instead, work through each opinion and try to see where he’s coming from. If you still think he’s wrong, find holes in his argument and gently challenge him to see it from a new perspective.

5. Volunteer in Your Community

Getting your son involved in the local community serves a variety of benefits. On top of making a positive difference, it also allows him to explore new interests and hone his skills.

Consider looking for community engagement opportunities you think will best highlight his skill set. If he’s a jack-of-all-trades, choose opportunities based on his interests.

Even if a volunteer opportunity doesn’t magically reveal his passion or grow his skills, the effort is far from wasted. Not only is he giving back to his community, but he’s also growing his network at a young age.

6. Open Up to Your Son

A successful mentorship is one based on trust. To earn this trust, you need to show your son it’s okay to open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Sharing your weaknesses and past failures with your son will help get the conversation flowing. He’ll be more likely to talk about specific issues he’s facing after you’ve shared a few personal stories of your own.

Once he starts talking, remember to be a good listener. If your son is a teenager, be especially grateful for any tidbits he shares. After all, teenage boys are not known for being particularly chatty.

7. Help Him Develop His Voice

If your son is shy and is deeply conflict-averse, he may need help advocating for himself. Teaching him how to speak up for himself and stand his ground is a vital skill to have in today’s cutthroat world.

One way to help him find his voice is by pushing him just outside his comfort zone. Try giving him a small task you know he can complete, even if he’s not so sure himself.

Continually pushing your son outside of his comfort zone will slowly help build his confidence and self-worth, which is key to finding his voice. If he fails at any of these tasks, remember to praise the effort and the courage it took for him to try.

Final Thoughts

As you implement these practical ways to mentor your son, remember to give him an opportunity to continue doing them. Mentoring is about giving him a choice rather than forcing his hand.

By giving him more power in these situations, he’ll be more likely to stick with them for the long-term. It’s a big change when they begin living on their own, and they’ll need some skills to help them remain well-grounded.

About the author

About the author

Akin Tosyali serves as the Director of Digital Marketing for Tiege Hanley and oversees all digital marketing activities from the Chicago headquarters. Before joining Tiege Hanley, Akin was VP of Marketing for a staffing agency, and Sr. Dir. of Digital for Grainger, 9th largest e-tailer in the U.S. Akin loves sailing, grilling, and building things with his family. Their last project was building an X-wing shaped bike trailer because it is a much cooler way to arrive at the neighborhood pool. Name of his rescue dog is Chewbacca.

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