When a couple meets and falls in love, things require a bit more thought when one or both of them have children. While you want your children to adore your new partner and get along great with your partner’s children, that is not always the case.
However, there is no need to worry. Blended families can come together successfully. The following are six relationship-building tips for blended families.
Adjust Your Expectations
Don’t expect perfection. Give everyone time to adjust. One child may not immediately take to another, but given time, they can find a way to live in harmony. Your child may not like your spouse as much as you had hoped. Again, don’t panic, with some time things can turn around. The important thing is, you shouldn’t push.
Agree and Work Together as a Couple
Both parents have to come to an agreement about discipline and important decisions. Never undermine each other’s authority. Listen to one another and come up with a plan both partners agree on.
Never Speak Poorly About Your Ex
It’s also wise to never make the children feel they have to pick a side. When you speak poorly about their other parent, they may automatically dislike your new partner out of loyalty to their parents.
If you can maintain a cordial relationship with your new spouse’s ex, the entire family will benefit. You don’t have to be best friends, but keep in mind you are all on the same page as regards the kids’ wellbeing.
Be United and Open in making Plans and Decisions
Planning together as a family and allowing everyone to have open dialogue is crucial. This is true whether your family is blended or not. As your children grow to know you and the family dynamic, it’s important to hear what they are feeling and what solutions they may have.
Family planning in our modern-day requires a bit more forward planning and thought on everyone’s part than it might have in the past. Everyone’s opinion matters and is needed.
Sitting down and making thorough family plans and meetings can take time and adjustment, but it’ll be worth every minute. There are definitely resources out there to help get your family on the right track.
You all want what is best for the children. Parents and stepparents who can get along will go a long way in creating happy, well-balanced children they want.
Spend Time with Your Step-Children
Spend time with your stepchildren. Get to know them and do something they enjoy. They may not show it right away, but they will appreciate the effort.
While you and your new spouse spent time together and chose one another, your kids didn’t fall in love with nor choose your spouse. This is all new to them, they may need a bit of time to adjust.
This is especially true if the children had hoped you and your ex would get back together. If you and your ex have been apart for a long while and your child is used to having you all to him or herself, they may also feel they are losing you to a new family.
Keep Your Sense of Humor
Keep your sense of humor. Don’t be angry things aren’t going how you envisioned. Do your best to make the home fun and loving place. The children will come around.
Even when the kids seem to reject the idea of being a family, keep trying, keep smiling and above all, keep loving.
As an adult, it’s up to you to bring everyone together. The best way to do this is through patience, dedication, love, and togetherness. These relationship-building tips for blended families will help improve things, and soon you’ll wonder why you were ever worried or concerned.
When there is love in a family, things often have a way of working out. It might just take a little bit of time. Here are more tips for bringing your blended family together.
