Forty Exercises For Your Brain ~ Friday Humor

Ready to break a sweat? According to a 2016 study by University of Windsor psychologists, understanding and appreciating a punny wordplay joke requires both hemispheres of your brain, the left and right sides, to work together to decipher a joke’s meaning.

Reading a wordplay joke – even a really silly one – is like exercise for your brain. You’re welcome. 😛 

Here are 40 wordplay jokes that are maybe a little silly and stupid, but it will take your entire brain to make sense of them. So stretch, get loose and get ready to exercise your brain. 

1. Do you know the soul singer Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in a vineyard? He’d herd it through the grapevine!
2. I Googled “how to start a wildfire.” I got 48,500 matches!
3. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
4. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!
5. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Everything’s fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention in school!
6. How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of cards!
7. I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party. But my plans were foiled
8. Jokes about teachers on summer break are not funny. They’re just not working!
9. What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it? A waist of time!
10. I call toilets “the Jim” instead of “the John.” So I can tell people, “I visit the Jim several times a day!”
11. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”
12. Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every bank have so many branches.
13. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
14. Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross. But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!
15. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on? Nothing. It just lets out a little wine!
16. I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig. The poem may not be beautiful, but it’s certainly very deep!
17. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”
18. When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just chuck some butter from your window. You’ll see a butterfly!
19. What do computers snack on? Microchips!
20. Somebody stole all my lamps. I couldn’t be more delighted!
21. Did you hear about the guy who broke his left arm and leg? He’s all right now!
22. I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness. It came out of the green!
23. Why did the pig leave the party early? Because everyone thought he was a boar!
24. Three guys walk into a bar. They all said, ouch!
25. I’ve been having insomnia, so I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log!
26. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest!
27. I once worked in a bank… But then I lost interest!
28. A friend’s dog swallowed a few coins. He’s keeping his eye on it, but says there’s no change yet!
29. I bought an Impressionist painting, but my cat scratched it. So I’m now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!
30. You’re becoming a vegetarian? I think that’s a big missed steak!
31. Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert? Because they’re always stuffed!
32. What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables? “You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything!”
33. I’d love to know how the Earth rotates. It would totally make my day!
34. What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!
35. Thirty-seven consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court. They will be sentenced next Friday!
36. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there!
37. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it? An envelope!
38. An English teacher asked a student to name two pronouns. The student answered, “Who, me?”
39. Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese shop. Just to shoot the Bries!
40. I read a book about World War II that was only four pages long. It was Abridged Too Far!

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.