Five Tips To Parenting Your First-Year College Student
If you’ve just become the parent of an admitted college student – congratulations! Although you’ve helped get them this far, your role as a parent is about to change significantly.
That shift can be daunting, but millions of parents before you have made it. Read on to find some vital lessons to learn regarding parenting a first-year college student.
You Made Mistakes – and That’s Fine
Now that your child is about to leave, you’re probably panicking over the things you haven’t taught them yet. Some obstacles you encountered in your life and some experiences you forgot to tell them about.
You should recognize how impossible and impractical it would be for all of those lessons to stick right now.
The truth is, failure and mistakes as a parent are inevitable. While this can lead to bumps in the road for your child, it’s also one of the most important parts of the learning process.
Preparing them for every conceivable obstacle would be robbing them of valuable learning opportunities. So let it go, accept you’ve done enough as a parent.
Just be there to help when they ask for it.
Expect (outward) Change
As parents, it’s important to understand college is a time of significant change and growth. Your child may seem like they’re a completely different person when they come home again, or when you visit them.
They might have changed outwardly and started trying new things they haven’t before. Some may even switch majors instead of pursuing medical school.
Understand that, deep down, they’re the same person, and they’re just learning more about themselves. Change is inevitable, anyway – the more you try to interfere, the more they’ll resist.
So, understand this change is driven by your child having more independence than before. Let them grow into the person – the adult! – their meant to be.
Just Be There for Them
It can be tempting to call every day, but now is the time to take a step back. You might want to work out a schedule for keeping contact with them before they leave.
You can (and should!) definitely make a visit out there during their university’s family weekend – that’s what it’s there for. But don’t be overbearing, and don’t ask too many questions, even though you have a million of them.
Most importantly, though, when they do inevitably come to you – in tears or enraged because of a breakup or a failed exam – be there for them. Let them vent, and try not to stress or panic too much.
They’ll have trying experiences and tough times – you won’t be able to shield them from that. However, you can show support by being there for them.
Understand how Coming Home for the Summer Might Feel
Eventually, they’ll come home for the summer, and it might seem like it’s impossible to get them to do anything. Chores may be neglected and they might avoid asking for permission.
But before you dole out punishment, recognize where that comes from. They’ve been autonomous for the first time in their life, and now they want to maintain some of that independence.
Be cognizant of that, trust them, and think back to your own experience of leaving the nest for the first time. Give them some space.
Negotiate, and be willing to compromise. Reach an understanding they don’t always need your permission to go out, but that you’d at least like to know what they’ll be doing and when they will return.
They’ve started to become adults. They’ll appreciate you treating them as such.
Trust Them
By this point, you’ve probably recognized the undercurrent throughout this article: trust. Trust they can make their own way even if you haven’t prepared them for every little thing.
Trust they’ll stay in touch and come to you when they need you. Also, that they’re becoming an adult who can make their own decisions.
Most importantly, though, trust that despite all the ways they might seem to change, they’re still your child.
Can you believe it Christmas is nearly upon us? If you’re a procrastinator like yours truly it’s probably time to start thinking about gifts for family and friends including, of course, your kids!
If you’ve got kids in college, it can be hard to decide what to get them. Do they just want gift cards, or should you pick out something more meaningful?
And can you pick out something meaningful that’s small enough to fit in the limited space of their dorm room? Fear not, for we’ve gathered together a guide of some of the best gifts for college students this year.
