Children are considered a major investment in terms of time and money. A married couple makes this investment for one main benefit – love.
It’s evident children are the major focus of love in most families. This is due to the permanent love relationship parents and relatives have with them.
Despite the climbing divorce rate, most divorced parents maintain a strong relationship with their children. For remarried couples in stepfamilies, their budget may be further restrained due to increased costs for raising all of the children.
If you’re planning to remarry, consider the following tips to make your stepfamily work.
Make Prior Plans For Your Remarriage
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Living and Financial Arrangements
As a couple should come to agreement how you’ll share your money and where you’ll live. In determining where you’ll live keep the children’s needs in the forefront.
Your goal should be to minimize the disruption to their lives by blending. Moreover, the couple should also decide whether to keep money separate or share a bank account, like the one on equity research in NYC site.
- Fully Resolve Hurts from the Previous Marriage
A successful marriage requires that anger and hurts from the previous marriage be resolved. The resolutions should include giving children hope of better lives ahead of remarriage.
- Foresee Parenting Changes and Decisions
Discuss with your wife about roles each parent will be playing in raising children from both sides.
Quality of The Marriage
In this union, as much as you will devote more time to your couple, spare quality time for both your children. This will give them a sense of belonging.
However, you should arrange for regular dates between you and your spouse.
Create A Good Relationship Between You and Your Stepchildren
Establish a close relationship with your stepchildren. In doing this, you should first consider their gender and emotional status.
In most cases, both boys and girls prefer verbal affection than physical closeness such as hugs. For instance, girls are normally very uncomfortable with physical shows of their stepfathers compared to boys.
Step Family Parenting
This is the most difficult aspect of this type of family especially when forming it with adolescent children due to their stages of development. However, it is much easier when forming such a family with young children.
As a stepdad, you should first establish a more friendly relationship with the children rather than a disciplinarian one. Moreover, you can also agree with your spouse that she be in charge of your stepchildren’s discipline until you develop a solid bond with them.
Being able to create family routines can help you bond with your new stepchildren and unite the family as one. Although children of different ages and gender tend to adjust differently to a new stepfamily, you will able to meet your goal of establishing a trusting relationship if you adjust your approach using the tips given above.
