A Woman’s Greatest Need
What is a woman’s greatest need? Diamonds? Lowered toilet seats? A clean house? Wealth?
Before answering there is nothing that makes me authority on this subject – if you don’t believe me just ask the Pretty Lady. After almost 20 years of marriage I consider myself a life-long student and my learning curve is still high. I write this as much for me as you.
I’m sure you heard of the book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. As you can tell from the title, men and women are two entirely different species.
I think we mistakenly believe when we are dating or newly married we are so much alike and have so much in common. Yes, our interests could be the same but that’s where the similarities end.
Fellas, our women are not like us. They function differently from us and they definitely think differently from us.
A woman will spend thirty minutes deciding which pair of slacks will make her hips look slimmer. We put on a pair of pants and we’re good to go.
Our emotional needs are also different. Men need respect which is different from what a woman needs.
Above all of her other needs and desires a woman needs to feel loved – she has to have a safe place for her heart. She needs to feel loved by her man.
Contrary to what you might think this comes above her need to have a clean house or a lowered toilet seat.
How do you make your woman feel loved? How can you be her hero?
Components of Love
Although love means different things to different people it’s still a woman’s greatest need. Whether a woman is growing up with her parents or living with her husband, she has the genuine need to feel loved.
This is why a woman is vulnerable to seeking love outside their home or marriage if their father or husband is not communicating their love for them.
A man must communicate four things to his woman to satisfy her need to feel loved:
1. He Cares for His Wife Above Anyone or Anything Except God,
2. His Admiration and Love for His Wife,
3. His Faithfulness, and
4. His Dedication to Provide Financially.
He Cares For His Wife Above Anyone Or Anything Except God
When a woman feels her husband is preoccupied or detached from her in some way, she will immediately feel insecure. She wants to know her husband is tuned in to her needs and concerns.
A woman can instinctively sense if her husband truly is caring for her.
Just Ask
The best way a man can find out if he is properly caring for his wife is simply to ask her,
If she says yes, he can know he is meeting her needs. If she says no, then he should listen carefully as she explains why not.
Most men are preoccupied with trying to “get my wife off my back” and keep her from demanding too much, rather than being totally committed to meeting her needs, regardless of the cost.
A Woman Knows
A woman learns to recognize when a man is not really committed to caring for her. Her situation is similar to a man who has a selfish and greedy boss.
All men want to get the most they can out of employment, and our employer holds the keys. If they work for a selfless and generous employer, they feel secure and optimistic.
If they have a boss who is distracted, overly demanding or selfish, they lose a sense of security and happiness. Your wife’s well-being and prosperity are greatly dependent upon you.
She is very sensitive to your actions and attitudes for good reason. You need to understand and accept this.
Consider what it would be like for a sensitive, caring employer to come up to you and say, “You know, I’ve really been thinking about your lately. I wonder if there is anything I can provide for you to make your job more enjoyable. By the way, am I paying you enough?”
That would be any employed person’s dream. Well, every woman’s dream is to have a husband who will manifest this same attitude.
Regularly communicate to your wife you’re available and want to meet her needs. Then, just do it. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how well your wife responds to her new atmosphere of security.
A Man Has Nothing To Fear
A man often fears what his wife will do when he makes himself totally available to meet her needs. That is the last thing to fear.
You simply cannot imagine what a woman will do for her man if he will cover her in a blanket of total security by laying down his selfish ways to meet her needs. Again, think about your employer.
Wouldn’t you do more and sacrifice more for a boss who served you and cared for you sacrificially? Or do you think you would lounge around the workplace while ordering your boss around and abusing him?
Simply because you have become humble and have committed yourself to meeting your wife’s needs doesn’t mean you lose your authority or manhood. True and lasting authority is built, not broken, upon the foundation of sacrificial servant hood. It is leadership by example, not ego.
This is post is the first of four on a woman’s greatest need. Future posts will look at the remaining components of love.
I like the boss and employee analogy. I think that is a great way to explain what a woman needs and how she feels.
This is an excellent article for any guy to read. While I am very secure with myself, I do need my husband to let me know that he cares for me and that I am a huge priority in his life. In fact, any problems we have in our relationship (from my end) comes from feeling as though he is not meeting my needs.
BTW: I tried to give you 5 stars for this article but it gave something like 4.6. In my opinion, this is a 5-star article that men need to read for relationship happiness.
Hi Bellaisa. Thank you for commenting. As you’re probably well aware work is very important to us guys so I’m glad to hear the analogy is effective. I’ve heard men likened to sheep when it comes to relationships we need woman to properly “lead” us. Thank you again for your kind words and I hope you share this article with your social media outlets. Also be on the lookout for three remaining articles in this series.
Gerardo
Love it! Well written, thoughtful and accurate:)
I was also touched by your poem to your step-mom.
Goes to show one life does make a difference.
Blessings,
Pam
Thank you Pam for your concurrence and kind words regarding the article and the poem. And yes one life does make a difference. Blessings to you and your family. Happy Mother’s Day.
Gerardo