Historically, going through a divorce was a last resort for couples whose marriage was considered damaged beyond repair. However, more recently, divorce is simply viewed as an another option for married couples. This difference in viewpoint has led to a contagious effect on divorcing couples, that is,
this ‘idea’ of getting divorced, this ‘option’ of getting divorced [is] like a virus, because it spreads more or less the same way,”
as stated by University of California at San Diego professor James Fowler in an ABC News interview.
The Reality of Divorce
While the idea divorce is contagious may seem a bit absurd, Professor Fowler discovered distinct developed patterns to support this idea. People with a divorced sibling are 22% more likely to get divorced than people who don’t have divorced siblings.
Even more surprising, being close friends with someone who is divorced makes you 147% more likely to get a divorced yourself. This is by no means a guarantee you will get divorced if your friends or family are divorced.
However, this seems to suggest intimately observing the process of a divorce and the end result may open your mind to this idea, especially if you and your spouse have been going through a rough patch.
Is Divorce Contagious?
Imagine the following scenario. Your close friend and his wife are clearly going through a difficult time in their relationship and he decides he wants a divorce. From the time he first speaks with his attorney to the time the divorce is finalized, you both stay in touch and he has been telling you what has been going on.
You discuss topics like what prompted the divorce, what it’s like working with an attorney, the divorce process itself, and how “free” he feels afterwards. You see him now living the “bachelor life” again and maybe the thought of divorce crosses your mind.
This situation is more frequent than you can imagine and is not limited to close friends.
However, while it is not uncommon for divorce lawyers to be referred through friends and family over the years, the reality is divorce often has negative outcomes for both spouses; an aspect of divorce not typically discussed among friends or family.
Think About It
You may only see the aspects of divorce your friend or family member chooses to share with you. They may only share the positive things: they are now on their own; free to do what they want with their time, meeting new people.
However, they may not be sharing how difficult the initial “divorce” conversation was with their ex-spouse or how they may have lost contact with other friends and family members due to the divorce.
Moreover, they may not have explained to you how terrible the process was on their children and how worried they may be that the divorce may have long-lasting effects on their kids.
While lawyers try to make the divorce process as easy and streamlined as possible, the process itself is adversarial by nature; it is spouse vs. spouse. There is much more than the positive aspects to a divorce, which must be considered before moving forward.
That is not to say divorce is never the answer, sometimes it is. However, it is not something to be taken lightly, as you, your family, your friends, your property, and your future are affected, both positively and negatively.
Jason B. Martin, Esquire, is the founder of The Martin Law Firm located in Blue Bell, PA. With over 16 years of experience, he provides a wide range of legal representation including estate planning, criminal and family law. Among his many accomplishments, Jason also proudly volunteers his time with the local nonprofit For Pete’s Sake Cancer Respite Foundation.
