Have you ever questioned whether you are the really the father of your child or children? If yes, you are not alone. The American Association of Blood Banks publishes the figures each year and the number of tests carried out is astounding.
However, be aware of the misleading and inaccurate claims published on many websites and sources stating 1 in every 3 men tested are not the father of the child tested.
These kinds of statistics are hard to compile and are often subject to errors.
Paternity Testing Today
To be sure, the number of paternity tests has steadily increased. Today, the reduced costs and easy access to DNA testing means people are more likely to rush out to get a DNA test the instant they get their first doubt. It is not always the father who initiates the test however, in some cases it might be the child, a relative or the mother.
Paternity Testing Scenarios
In the case of paternity testing, the following scenarios are the most common:
- The alleged father might have doubts as to whether he is the true biological father. Suspicions might be aroused for a number of reasons; perhaps a rough patch during a relationship or perhaps a child with facial and other physical features which appear too incongruous with those of the alleged father.
- The mother might initiate the test behind the father’s back and unaware to the child or children. She might have been unfaithful at some point and a paternity test may help her find the peace of mind she needs.
- In some cases, children carry out the test in order to quench their suspicions they are not the biological offspring of their father.
- In rare cases, relatives of the alleged father might seek DNA testing to determine whether they are the true biological relatives of the alleged father’s children.
The motives behind DNA testing could be financial, driven by monetary gains although this is rarely the case. The consequences of such tests, sometimes devastating and life-changing, may be left pretty much to chance in countries where these tests are marketed directly to consumers.
In countries like France, it is illegal to buy a paternity test over the internet and the test can only be done following court orders. This is done to protect the family unit and the interests of the child, who are usually the ones to suffer most.
People just reach out for these cheap, online, quick tests to quench their need for answers but take little consideration of the after effects. Barely taking any time to consider the magnitude of the implications that could arise in the lives of all those involved.
Any paternity test requires the samples of the alleged father and child. In many cases, samples are collected secretly. Many companies such as easyDNA Canada, International Biosciences and homeDNAdirect offer online DNA testing making these tests much more accessible. People who are taking part in the test are unaware their sample was collected and any test is being carried out. Once the results are issued, the person who requested the test may chose to reveal the results and act upon them or ignore those results avoiding the associated drama.
The Implications of Paternity Testing
The results of a paternity test can disrupt and upset. They can pull the father-child bond apart, overturning everybody’s life. The alleged father who discovers he is not the child’s real father might distance himself from the child, leaving the child hurt and disoriented, or at worst neglected and wallowing in guilt. Little kids often perceive a lack of attention or affection from their parents as being caused by their own actions and thus, as being their own fault. The psychological effects will alter a child’s personality and these effects will manifest themselves well into adulthood.
So how does one act when it comes to paternity testing? The answer is “always in the child’s best interests”. But this may be hard to determine – it’s a question of morals versus laws – should the child be raised by the man he loves and calls daddy or by the stranger who is his biological father but who played no role in the child’s life?
Ideally, if you are thinking of a paternity test, sit down and think of what you would do once you get the results.
Seek the help of a counselor or find some support groups for dads who have already been through the same experience you are considering going through yourself.
Angry feelings are also not uncommon. A father who discovers he is not the biological father of a child has unearthed the truth about their partner – they have been perhaps deceived or two-timed. So their pain is two-fold – not only have they discovered the child that calls them “daddy” is not really theirs but of another man, but that their wife or partner has lied or held back the truth. It brings to life to possible specter of paternity fraud. The impact on many of these kids cannot be even pre-determined or imagined as each individual will react differently. Of course, with infants and babies, the results might have little or no effect as these might be beyond their levels of comprehension.
If you thought paternity testing can bring peace of mind – think again. It needs to be carefully considered and everything weighed out. Even if the results banish your worst fears and enable you to breathe a sigh of relief, remember if your child or loved one finds out you have carried out a paternity test, they can be hurt and emotionally affected – your relationship might suffer. The mother of the child might see the bond of trust, so important to a relationship, as having been breached. Children too might be deeply hurt.
Karl M McDonald is a free lance writer that writes about a variety of topics including paternity, the legal aspects of parentage and paternity and IVF. The author contributes to several blogs and websites on a regular basis and has published work on leading scientific and legal websites.
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