Helping Your Older Stepfather Embrace A New Lifestyle

The clock is ticking and the generation that once arrogantly insisted on trusting no one over the age of 30 is itself reaching retirement age. The baby boomer generation is one of the largest generations ever, accounting for nearly 43 percent of the country’s population. As this enormous group ages, you and millions of other adult children and stepchildren are faced with the daunting task of planning for the long term care of these elderly loved ones.

“Time to relinquish your driver’s license, Pop?” “Have you obeyed the doctor’s orders about your dietary restrictions, Sir?” Your stepdad may still feel young at heart even as his body grows older and health declines. Discussing his health and the imminent lifestyle changes he faces may be akin to walking through a minefield. Tread lightly but steadily, and make sure to commit to doing what is best for your stepfather by dealing with these key issues:

1. Home Maintenance

Home alone? This may be exactly the way he wants it, but it may not be safe for him now. Gently broach the subject of basic home maintenance for him to mull over.

What about lawn care? How about basic home repairs? How does he feel about hiring a housekeeper or bringing someone in to prepare meals? Let him know your primary concern is his living standards and safety will not be compromised.

2. Home Health Care

Is your stepdad taking medications that need to be monitored? Does he need help shaving, bathing, or dressing? Will he have access to help if it is necessary? If you do not believe he can manage these personal ablutions on his own, discuss the use of a home care service which would allow him to remain at home but still receive the care and attention he needs.

3. Legal Issues of Older Stepdad

Are all of his legal affairs in order? Is there a will or a trust? Has a medical advocate been assigned? Have important papers been removed from any safety deposit boxes so the family has access in a time of need? All of these very important issues must be addressed.

4. Power of Attorney

Is he still able to pay his bills and manage other finances? Has a power of attorney been assigned? Where are all the important documents surrounding bank accounts, bills, investments, and insurance policies kept? If he is ever incapacitated, you may need to know the answers to these questions.

Accept the fact this may be a difficult and long process, which may make you uncomfortable  and your stepfather defensive. However, it is very necessary. He’s loved and supported you through trials and triumphs. Now it’s your turn to love and support him, and help him make this transition to a new way of life.

And remember this is his life, so ask him what he would like to do and honor his wishes as much as you can without jeopardizing his safety. Make sure he knows his happiness and health are your main concern.

The Author

Writer and aging baby boomer LaGeris Underwood Bell hopes this article will bolster the courage of adult stepchildren charged with the care of an aging stepparent. She encourages them to secure home care services where it is both safe and economical.

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