My husband comes from a household where his mother was the only woman among three sons and a father. She is a ferociously strong woman and is very used to strong arming the sons in conversation and discipline to express a point or give a command.
Conversations in my husband’s household while growing up involved a lot of yelling not due to anger but because the tone, pitch, and volume of conversation were always higher than normal. When my husband and I first got married we would argue very differently.
He would say things and speak in tones that sounded very harsh to my ears. According to him though, he felt he was not being excessive in any kind of way. He has since adapted to me and is not perfect by any means but these tips helped him support me and walk with me day after day.
Supporting Your Wife – Understand It’s Not About You
My husband and I very quickly realized in order for us to have healthy argument the other person’s side has to be just as important as our side. He realized even though he was passionate about what he was arguing about raising his voice would discourage healthy conversation with me. He would argue in such a way that tends to have me in mind first.
Supporting Your Wife – Create a Plan of Action
One of the things we did was create a plan that would help us when situations would arise. We knew problems were going to erupt within our relationship so we decided before hand how we would try to address certain issues. His willingness to lead the way in creating a plan of action showed me he cared about my feelings.
Supporting Your Wife – Ask the Tough Questions in a Gentle Way
My husband learned some questions are better asked when using a gentle and sweet tone. When my husband asks questions in a harsh way it makes me feel like he is accusing me or is against me.
When he would be tender towards me or careful with certain words with me it showed me he cared and was not against me.
Supporting Your Wife – Go Above and Beyond to Show you Care
My husband and I constantly struggle with continual romance within our marriage. One of the things that helps me is when he romances me with intentionality. When my husband doesn’t show efforts of romance it makes me feel like I don’t matter to him.
Even though deep down inside I know he loves and cares for me emotions make you think irrationally. I love when he takes time out of his day to do simple and sweet things or take us out on date night to do something out of the ordinary.
Supporting Your Wife – Make her Feel Safe
Wives want security both relationally and physically as well. My husband did an outstanding job of buying Smith Home security systems so I could always feel safe when I’m at home alone. Smith security offers some of the absolute best home security features available.
For the most part most wives are sensitive when it comes to the relationship between them and their husband. The hope is our husbands would understand and live in light of that, not in a perfect way but in a way that breeds love between one another.
About The Author
Katie Melendez is a writer for Smith Monitoring. Katie is also a wife, youth mentor, and a health nut. Follow her blogs for all current trends on home, health, and family.
