I became a stepdad at 34 and a biological dad at 40. As an older dad, I believe I have more patience, maturity (with some exceptions according to the Pretty Lady 😎 ) and just more life experience than when I was in my 20’s. This helped me be better prepared for the unique challenges of blended family life and the demands of fatherhood.
If you’ve read the post Adding a New Baby to Your Blended Family you already know what we went through to have Nathaniel. Writer Don Bennett discusses vasectomy reversal and the advantages of becoming a father after 40.
Some young men who had a vasectomy as a means of contraception, may want to reverse it later in life, because they want to start a family.
These men should understand vasectomy reversals performed within 10 years of the original vasectomy are very successful. Generally, pregnancy occur in 50% of reversals and the greatest chance of success occurs if the reversal happens within 3 years of the vasectomy. If the reversal happens after 10 years, then the chances of pregnancy drop to 30%.
Some vasectomized men who are over 40 may get the urge to start a family. However, these men may also feel it’s too late to get married and become fathers. Many psychologists and researchers encourage men over 40 to lose their concerns because having a family can be rewarding and fulfilling, and have many advantages, even for men who are over 40. Here are the reasons why psychologists feel vasectomized men over 40 should not be afraid of starting a family:
A Comfortable Financial Situation
Men over 40 are more financially secure and this can have an impact on children-family decisions. Maintaining a family is expensive and bringing up children can strain home budgets. However, many 40+ men can easily provide for their family because they would likely have established their career by then. So, such men don’t have to worry about the financial aspect of having a family.
Loving, Caring and Sharing
Many men in their 30s may not want children because having a family and children means providing for the family, lugging the kids along, and being with the family on weekends. However, such men may feel the need to have someone around that cares for them once they reach a certain age, say 40 years. They should realize that life goes on, and it may never be too late to start a family.
Tolerance
People become more tolerant as they age and children have to be dealt with a lot of patience. Mature men are better equipped to handle children. They don’t shout when driven to breaking point and they don’t make judgment calls so easily. They are mostly calm and collected, and understand the situation before reacting.
Meaning and Purpose
When men over 40 father children, the feeling they get is different from the feeling they would have had becoming fathers at say, 30 years of age. Experts state when mature, men want children, while with most young men, children happen. Therefore, it is likely that a 40+ man will want children and will appreciate and enjoy having a family.
Many researchers and psychologists feel it is never too late to start a family and they are of the opinion many men over 40 enjoy parenthood and the comfort it brings. If you are over 40 and vasectomized, you may consider undergoing a reversal if you feel the need.
Donald E. Bennett is a blogger from Atchison, KS and father of two who recommends Dr. David S. Wilson for men who want to reverse their vasectomy.
