At one time or another we will need to confess something to someone. We may need to confess to our partner or children because we’ve violated a known boundary. To a friend we hurt by a stray remark or thoughtless action. To our boss when they want to understand why our assigned work was completed with less than satisfactory results.
Confession – A Definition
The Latin root of confession is “confiteor” which means to acknowledge a sin or fault, or a more general definition is to acknowledge or avow. This allows for suspects to confess their crimes or religious believers to confess their faith. The two definitions are closely connected when in early Christianity a person confessed their faith before a tribunal where they might be punished.
Lance Armstrong recently admitted to doping during a three hour long interview with Oprah Winfrey. Despite Armstrong’s admission to doping the majority, if not all, of the fallout since his admission is of a negative nature. Let’s look at what makes a good confession to determine why Armstrong missed the mark.
Confession – The Elements
- Specific. Identification of all the wrong and damaging behaviors – with no turd polishing. Turd polishing is attempting to take something stinky and nasty, and trying to make it look good.
Yes, yes, yes and yes. Oprah opened the interview by asking Armstrong four yes or no questions related to Armstrong taking specific banned substances to enhance his cycling performance. Armstrong responded, “Yes” to all of them.
During the interview Armstrong stated he looked up the definition of cheater. Seriously? In Armstrong’s words, “I did not feel like I was cheating. It was just like putting air in the tires. I looked up the definition of cheat, it meant gaining an advantage, I didn’t gain an advantage, I just leveled the playing field.” Sounds like some heavy duty turd polishing to me.
- Brief. Providing long explanations can be interpreted as an attempt to justify or minimize your behavior. Lance might have better served his cause by holding a press conference where he admitted his guilt in a prepared statement. Confessions that are three hours long with Oprah seem like an attempt to manipulate public opinion.
- Sincerity/Transparency. Tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. No use of the word, “If.” For example, “If what I did was cheating on my part, I apologize.” Spreading a lie here and there among the truth is like weeds growing among plants; eventually the weeds will overrun the plants.
Armstrong stated the last time he doped was in 2005, which is in conflict with the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency’s (USADA) conclusion Armstrong had in fact doped in the 2009 and 2010 Tours de France. Additionally, the consensus among his fellow cyclists, which included dopers and non-dopers, was Armstrong was the doping ringleader. This is an assertion Armstrong didn’t acknowledge.
- Vulnerability. Leaving yourself open to physical and/or emotional harm. It comes from a Latin word meaning to “wound.” Many of us consider being vulnerable as a sign of weakness. My vision of vulnerability is the beta dog rolling to their back, defenseless and exposed when confronted by the alpha dog.
Many interview watchers sensed Armstrong was cautious knowing he needed to avoid saying anything that could be used against him in later in court. This concern in Armstrong’s mind might have contributed to the perception he was holding back in his admissions. Armstrong’s determining the venue, and identifying who was going to hear his confession, shows his underlying need to be in control. Can a person be in control yet still be vulnerable?
- Timing. A confession should be made as close to when you are first accused. The longer you wait to tell the truth, the more time it has to bubble to the surface on its own.
Over 10 years passed since the first allegations of Armstrong’s doping were made. The length of the time that has passed and the events that occurred prior to his appearance on Oprah cast a shadow over Armstrong’s true motives. By the time he interviewed with Oprah, it was already known he was going to admit to doping.
Confession – Final Thoughts
I am a graduate of the school of hard knocks. As a youth, I majored in trouble making and eventually earned a minor in confession. Not out of choice, but because of my stubborn tendency to avoid taking responsibility at all costs. Through painful experiences with the board, as well as the switch and belt of education, I learned the elements of a good confession. Although not as frequent as in childhood, I still have to recall how to properly confess. Did Lance Armstrong learn about confession when he was growing up?
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