One of the reasons I started Support for Stepdads was to turn back the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families. I feel this tragic statistic is the result of:
#1 – The scarcity of information available on stepfathering/stepparenting and blended/step families, and
#2 – The lack of real understanding of the unique characteristics and dynamics of blended family marriages.
Until recently, I resisted publishing articles related to getting a divorce. I didn’t want to be accused of speaking from both sides of my mouth. However, considering the high divorce rate for blended families I’ve come to realize it doesn’t make sense to avoid the topic all together.
It’s necessary to provide you with both sides of the divorce story. In that regard, Writer Brooke Chaplan presents an interesting piece on the positive effect divorce can have on kids.
Divorce has become an incredibly common issue a lot of families are now having to deal with. Relationships can become estranged and problems between parents can cause rifts within the household.
When two married people are constantly arguing, fighting or even trying to avoid each other, it can cause a lot of stress on the household and everyone in it.
When kids are involved, things can get even worse because they will constantly see the stress, arguing, and fighting that goes on almost daily. Divorce is a very touchy topic for many, but it can sometimes have beneficial effects for the kids who might be involved.
Knowing these benefits may help you to decide what to do when it comes to your own relationship.
Learning to Let Go Of Things That Don’t Work
When parents are constantly fighting and trying to mend a relationship that is obviously not working, the child constantly sees this, and begins to view it as normal. This reinstates the need for the child to continually try to fix something that is too broken to be fixed, and it can have long-term effects on their own relationships, careers, and the like.
According to lawyer Lain T Donnell, divorce is a way for your child to see that it’s alright to let go of things that aren’t beneficial and to move on with their own life. Make sure they understand why it’s better for the family and how it’s helping more than the parents.
Fighting is Never Normal or Okay
The problem with couples who are on the verge of divorce is they may spend a lot of their time having small arguments or heated brawls right at home in front of the children. If these issues have been going on for a while now, your kids may begin to see this as something that is normal and expected in relationships.
While it’s never safe to assume anything of a child’s future, this could have a negative impact on the way that they view their own relationships later on. When they fight and yell at their future mate, they may see it as normal because their parents did it all the time.
Divorce ends the daily fighting and bickering, which in turn helps to let your child know that it wasn’t normal or alright.
The Child Sees Happier Parents
While divorce is very difficult for the entire family to deal with, over time it can have very positive impacts on just about everyone in the family. You or your former spouse might find you are happier, and that it’s easier to enjoy the day without the problems that come with a relationship that’s on the edge.
Your child will see each of their parents as happy and satisfied individuals. This is why it is important to go through a divorce with the best intentions of the children in mind. This includes ending all bickering and fighting once the divorce is final.
You’re Less Likely to Take Your Anger Out on the Kids
One of the biggest benefits that comes with divorce is the ability to work through your own problems and to stop taking out your frustrations on the children. When you or your spouse is very angry or upset, it’s very easy to essentially blow-up at the very smallest thing your kids might do.
Something that is so simple and trivial might turn into an all-out war just because you had recently been arguing with your spouse. Divorce can benefit the kids because they no longer act as an outlet to take your anger out on. This, in turn, creates a happier and healthier child who grows up with stable parents, despite the fact the parents are no longer together.
Going to a Newmarket family law court and going through a divorce may be difficult, but it might be the absolute best option when kids are concerned. While it’s always a good idea to try to mend a relationship using therapy, group sessions, and counseling, there may come a point when divorce is truly the only option. Think of the benefits that come to your kids after a divorce is finalized, and consider it as an option if your relationship is experiencing problems.
Do you think divorce really have positive benefits for the kids? Or maybe it’s a mixed bag there are both positive and negative aspects of divorce with the negative clearly outweighing the positive? Please express your feelings in the Comments. Thank you.
