After the Divorce – What’s Next?
This can be a time of high tension and emotions. It’s best to take your time in your decision making and not be impulsive.
Many financial, family related and critical decisions will need to be made in the following days. There should be a mourning process as the relationship is now dead, but eventually should come a healing and growing process.
It’s important not to linger in mourning and let the emotions harbor inside of you until they become intense feelings of depression. After your divorce there will be things you should and should NOT carry out.
Both are equally important to moving on in a healthy manner.
Mourn
Yes, this is a hard thing to do, breaking up with a companion who has become so close to you over several years is never an easy task. Take some time to mourn and reflect on what happened.
These won’t be emotions that can just be simply forgotten overnight.
It’s a necessary step to moving on and being at peace with yourself.
It’s okay to be sad, feel angry, etc., but these are just natural emotions that need to take their course. Once you have had a good cry look for your next laugh from a good friend or family member.
Divorce Lawyer
I hate to say this would be the very next step after mourning, however, it’s important to protect yourself, especially if the other person has any ill will from the divorce. Your lawyer will also serve as a guide through this process, not just legally, but as a step by step way of moving through the process.
Knowing what lies ahead will help you to take it in stride and not have any big surprises. Going through hearings on child support, alimony and other financial ties will be emotional and cumbersome, but it is something everyone must experience and the sooner you can get through it, the better.
It will be best to talk to legal counsel as soon as possible in order to deal with this side of a divorce.
Find Inner Happiness
After taking care of the initial blow, it is important to reach within yourself and find what makes you happy. This will be a time where you can re-discover yourself and find new satisfaction out of life.
Take it as a positive step in the right direction to find a new you.
Date
Get back out in the market as soon as you feel comfortable doing so, but don’t be hasty in this decision – it is important to be at peace with yourself before jumping back into dating. Meeting new people will help you move on and fit into your new single role.
There is a reason you went through a divorce; that reason may be finding happiness with a completely new person in your life or to take time to just focus on yourself for a while. Be excited to explore the new possibilities that you have and be willing to step outside of your comfort zone.
Consider speaking with a therapist if you are having trouble getting through the different stages of the divorce. You may need a professional to help you in dealing with your kids, how to treat your ex’s family, and other touchy subjects. Friends and family will only take you so far in some cases; don’t be afraid to ask for help.