Manhood ~ Six False Standards

This post is a continuation of the manhood series. 

King Solomon was considered the world’s wisest and wealthiest of kings that ever lived.  In today’s vernacular Solomon had it “goin’ on.”   Solomon had and did it all: wisdom, intelligence, authority, wealth, possessions, power, fame, women and prestige. 

Surprisingly though, as Solomon was looking back on his life as he was nearing its end, he made this sobering statement:  “Vanity of vanities…all is vanity.” He also said there is nothing new under the sun it just the sam-o, sam-o. (Ecclesiastes 1:1-15, 12:7-8).

Despite Solomon’s position and accomplishments, it never satisfied the emptiness in his heart.  Neither did it give him peace and contentment.  Despite all of Solomon’s great achievement and prestige he died and left this world with what he brought into it – nothing.

Western culture today defines manhood by these false standards:   

1 – Men Should Define Themselves by their Outward Achievements and Successes.  In the 80’s, there was a popular saying on T-shirts and bumper stickers, “He Who Dies with the Most Toys Win.”  The clothes we wear, where we live, the car we drive, how much money we make, defines who are as a man.  How much is enough?  Solomon had everything he ever wanted and more, yet in the end he declared it was all vanity.

2 – Men Don’t Show Emotion.  Do you remember your parents telling you, “Big boys don’t cry?”  We are taught from a young age to suppress all of our emotions but society seems to be okay with us (men) blowing our stack. 

“The rage comes because there’s so much frustration when you cut off something that is you. Yet that’s what men do, because they’re afraid that if you give emotions an inch, they’ll take a mile,” says psychologist Kenneth W. Christian, PhD, author of Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement. “If you don’t develop all of yourself in some way, if you don’t learn how to work with your emotions, you’re a shadow figure, a small truncated version of yourself. It’s only a matter of time until the house of cards that you are falls apart.”

3 – Men Should only Pursue Certain “Cool” Hobbies and Interests.  “Cool” activities are Iron Man competitions, golfing, marksmanship, sky diving, mountain climbing, hunting,  fishing, bowling, flying, poker playing, and paintball are some activities considered “cool.” Not so “cool” activities like cooking with the exception of BBQing, baking, letter writing, knitting, stamp collecting, painting are considered more feminine in nature.

4 – Men Must Give up Great Adventures.  Our love for adventure begins as boys when we played cowboys and Indians, cops and robbers, or went exploring condemned houses for something of value.  Young men today find that same adventure when they play video games especially the war and fantasy games.  From the time we’re little boys we are more active and adventuresome than our female counterparts.  Possible related to this is number of young boys identified as ADD and prescribed Ritalin.  A drug designed to calm us down with the effect of separating boys from their true nature.

5 – Boys and Girls, and Men and Women, are Really no Different from one Another. Nearly everyone acknowledges there are distinct physical strength differences between a man and woman.  What is not acknowledged are the distinct natures of men and women.  Men are more aggressive and outwardly focused.  Women usually embodies the ideal of inner dignity. Some people confuse such subtlety with weakness; in truth, it is stronger than the most aggressive physical force imaginable. The answer is not be alike but recognize its the synergy of the two natures together that makes us complete.

6 – You have to do certain things to become a man. When I was in high school there were three qualifying events: your first sexual experience, paying job and drink of alcohol.  Pegging out the speedometer on your car especially if it’s a sport car.  Not showing fear in front of your partner or children. A trend noticed among teenage boys 15 years and older is they stop seeing the doctor.  This trend seems to support their false idea of masculinity, men are supposed to strong and self-sufficient.

The following is a review from a reader of the book Flight Plan: your mission to become a man.

There are many books out there to help teens and adult men grow in their relationship with God but very few geared towards those critical 2nd-7th grade boys. Couple that focus with two men as qualified as Lee and Braxton both in their knowledge of Adolescent boys and genuine heart for the Lord and you have a dynamic book that any parent of a boy should get for their son. From the instruction and space to write in, circle and interact with their book to the poignant and purposeful “boy-friendly” examples, this book is a must-read for the boys of today as they seek to become Men of God. I was especially thankful and impressed with the way they handled issues such as sex and drinking in a way that can help parents and boys alike cross those difficult waters. I HIGHLY recommend this book to any guy or parent of one!!! 

Click on the book to buy your copy NOW.

Now that we’ve looked at what manhood isn’t the next post in the series we’ll look at what manhood is.